i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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