Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize