Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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