She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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