i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
