Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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