we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
