How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
