And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
