I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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