There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
