Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
