you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
