Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
