ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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