Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize