You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Alive.
So much puke
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
