So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
