Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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