chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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