I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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