You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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