He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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