Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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