based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
