Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
as a side note pls kill me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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