Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
