It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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