dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
