Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
