am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize