I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
