you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
