Do you still have your period?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
