just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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