Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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