Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize