the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
