well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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