last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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