I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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