Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
