yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
even my farts smell like vagina
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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