AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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