the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
