I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
