the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
