I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we're making bets on your personal life
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
