Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
