Someone shit on the floor
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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