2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
