take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
do nipples grow back?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
