Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she peed on how many people?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
