Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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