bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
