You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
