wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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