I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
