Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
