8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
