And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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