Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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