i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
