Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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